This Hawaii trip filled me with so much love and, although I only spent four nights on the island, it was exactly what I needed to fill my cup.
I’ve missed the outdoors, sun bathing, spending time doing nothing, and not having devices on me. I loved observing nature, watching the wildlife flourish around me, feeling the ocean against my skin, and listening to silence. I loved kayaking through the brackish channels of North Shore, admiring the turtles, watching the fishes swim beneath me, and learning how to fish in the Hawaiian reefs.
My husband and I never really had a honeymoon and this was the trip we planned in place of it. We kept saying, “Next year, when it’s more convenient, after you get into pharmacy, school, etc.” Year by year it passed, then the pandemic happened. So we decided to jump the gun, make a move, and booked the trip without even looking at our calendars. We postponed the honeymoon so many times already – that we both knew if we didn’t do it now, we never would.
I wish I could have spent more days on the island. I used the majority of my vacation hours studying for finals and I also used vacation hours to take my final exams. I only had a few vacation days left to use for this trip. While the trip was primarily overcast weather, I loved every second of it. Even the little bickering sessions with my husband, getting lost on the island, navigating through jungles and wrong turns. These are the moments I want to laugh about and remember ten years from now.
This summer I am working seven days a week beginning next week. I anticipate working five days at my primary job and weekends at my inpatient internship. God has blessed me ten folds, and I am forever grateful for the abundance of blessings he’s provided me with.
This trip helped me reflect on how much work and healing I need to do in the upcoming months. The time I need to take to care for myself – especially with the lack of boundaries that are ever-present with this pandemic. I am realizing that I rarely take time and space to walk away and just sit in silence. The ocean has always been a healing space for me – and having four days alongside the ocean grounded me. I miss the beach, salty air, ocean breeze.
I anticipate storms, rainbows, and sunshine in the future. I want to be ready for the curveballs, and I am feeling incredibly blessed to have my husband by my side through pharmacy school. I can’t wait to pay off my first school loan, buy my first home, and start a family. I can’t wait to start living again, instead of letting life happen to me. I hope that we all find healing after this pandemic. I know we need it and have missed one another’s presence so much.
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All photos, writings, poems, and opinions are my own.