In the strangest blur, my first year of pharmacy school is done. It is complete. I can not help but wonder how I managed to work full time through this pandemic, support my family, manage the bills, and do half-decent in pharmacy school. I am a little burnt out, I feel incredibly traumatized, but I am also very blessed by God. Many of my prayers were answered in the strangest way.
This year I became the president-elect of a collaborative club on campus, I was selected to be a part of a leadership committee, I secured an inpatient internship, and today I just discovered I received a scholarship for the next academic calendar year. Life has a way of testing someone’s resilience. Doesn’t it? Three weeks before the end of the semester, I was on the phone crying hysterically about the purpose of this year’s life occurrences. Here I am witnessing the plans God made for me.
There were many moments of darkness this year. Juggling my role as a wife, nyab, full time worker, and pharmacy student. I felt pulled in a thousand directions and genuinely felt like I couldn’t do any of it very well or right. It was incredibly discouraging for me but in the process I learned a lot of about myself. I am always a little awed at my strength and resilience. I am incredibly sensitive now but I am a bit perplexed that I was able to dust off my knees and pick myself back up. Even if it meant laying in the dust for a few days.
For one, I moved into a beautiful new city. Closer to campus and closer to work. I am surrounded by beautiful mountains, and it is the first time my husband and I have been on our own as a married couple. It’s interesting learning about each other without the influence of others. We rarely argue, and we just run into the normal room mate problems here and there. He also received a hard earned promotion earlier in the year (praise God). It was so well deserved and overdue. I am so proud of him.
I had the privilege of getting to know incredibly kind and compassionate individuals in my program. These people held me together during my grieving process and really just went above and beyond to lift me up in my moments of loneliness. Sadness, in this pandemic, is contagious.
I sometimes felt sadness take over me. I sometimes felt it engulf me. This pandemic sometimes felt incredibly dark but it taught me a lot about the limitations and fragile things in life: family, love, friendships, my fur babies, and the great need for hope.
I learned the significance of zoom etiquette, the role money and power plays in higher education, and the much needed space we need to take to nurture our souls. When I first started blogging this year, I wanted to write about my study habits, goals, and weekly updates but it just didn’t feel right. My heart was not there. It did not feel appropriate in moments of such despair.
But I’m here now and I am ready to talk. To talk about the vaccinations, the clinics I participated in, the hope I found in talking to people everyday. I can’t wait to talk about my weekly updates during my internship this summer. I can’t wait to share my Hawaii adventure that is coming up in two weeks.
How are you? I hope your souls are holding up well, especially as we begin to open up again. I have missed human beings and blogging so so much.
Favorite Tools|Wedding Planning|Outdoor Gear| Prime Specials | My love for THINX| Camera Gear | Father’s Day Suggestions
All photos, writings, poems, and opinions are my own.