This week southern California still struggles to contain its local wildfire. The air quality has improved a little bit, and it was finally decent enough for me to take the dogs out for their weekly play time. Bear, photographed here, rolled in the grass for a good twenty minutes. He loves being outside. 2020 is far more intense then I could have imagine… Whenever I turn on the news, I can not help but cry. I am an empath and the doom/gloom displayed on the screens makes my heart ache. As a human race, we have set mother nature ablaze and have destroyed the beautiful medicine she has gifted us. The animals, plants, and God’s living creation has been destroyed by capitalistic greed and global warming. In addition to the fires, we were met with the wrath of her quake. Sometimes, I think we are undeserving of nature’s gifts. It is good to remember that we are but a speck in this world.
My husband and I continue to pray daily for the wellbeing of others, particularly those we know who struggle with: cancer, depression, loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, illness, and need for direction. This pandemic will never feel normal, and it is my hope that we never normalize what is happening right now. Rather – I hope that we walk out of this pandemic learning valuable lessons. I hope we learn the beauty of community, human connectedness, health, science, and the ongoing need for allyship.
I am now five weeks into pharmacy school and I’ve completed two midterms, my immunization certification, I am two weeks into my first IPPE’s, and I am going into my first final. I am not the smartest student in the room, I am not the loudest, the most assertive, but I do love to learn. I love to learn how I can be a better person, how I can study better, how I can contribute more to my community, and how I can uplift others in a time that feels so dark and new. I am trying my best, my professors are trying their best, the admin is trying their best, and so I just try to grant a lot of compassion and grace to everyone. Myself included. Especially myself.
I give so much compassion to others but rarely apply the same compassion to myself.
A whole lot of love,