Life has been peachy since the end of the semester. I am blessed to still have my safety throughout this pandemic, especially around my: finances, emotional wellness, and physical health. COVID has given me space, time, and boundaries to allow myself to critically self reflect on some of my own traumas. The world seems more polarized than ever, but I find that when we take time to talk to others, the world is not as divided as the media makes it out to be. I finally left my bubble this past weekend and spent it with my loving in-laws. It was nice to feel the warmth of a loving family.
I will say … marriage is hard. It is difficult. It is a lot of work … but it is so worth it. I fall more and more in love with my husband as we figure out what works and doesn’t work in our relationship. We make a lot of mistakes but we work so damn hard on our relationship. I had to say “damn.” That’s because there are days where we just want to scream and quit — but we don’t. I love my husband’s quirky jokes, his ability to make me laugh, and his extroversion. It teaches me to love, live a little, to be patient (a lot of patience), and to move outside of my own boundaries. This pandemic has taught us to grow together. A lot of people joke that the pandemic will result in increased divorce rates, but I actually feel quite the opposite. I fall in love with my husband more as we spend countless hours together within a twenty-five feet radius. He’s learned the importance of my needing space, and I’ve learned that him going out to fish is good for both of us! We’ve had difficult conversations around racism, sexism, privilege, being a Christian, and loving compassionately. It’s been a whirlwind. It’s hard to believe we are now four months into our stay at home orders.
My white coat ceremony is forty days away. I hope to run more in the coming days, weeks, and months. I have waited so long for this day. My feet and stomach tingle with excitement just thinking about it. I don’t know what will happen in the coming years, or the plans God has for me, but I know enough to know that he has brought me exactly to this time and place. It is perfectly in His will.
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All photos, writings, poems, and opinions are my own.