Goodbye Letters.

This semester ended with a lot of happy and sad notes. The year is coming to a close and I met a lot of personal goals for this year but also fell short of many goals.  As mentioned in many of my posts, this was a particularly difficult year for me but I am ending it on a positive note.  Here’s where I stand with my goals.  You can reference my 2019 goals here:

  • I kept my applications a secret. I did not tell people where or what programs I would be applying for.  Deep down, I already knew which direction I wanted to go but did not want to disclose it until the end of the year.  I applied to Pharmacy school and was accepted into all programs, with the exception of one (where my status is still pending for an interview). A big part of me did not want to hear all the naysayers gossip about me, so I felt it was best to keep my goals and aspirations close to my heart and to share it with the select few who actually believe in me.  Many of my mentors also wanted me to be a physician but I have been in love with plant medicine for so long now. I have such a deep passion for it.  It only made sense for me to go into pharmacy.
  • I did not complete my certificate in database management because I still need to formally submit my paperwork for it but I’m there. 🙂
  • This year I met my goal to move into a new complex that was bigger and more comfortable.  It has a larger kitchen and I cook more home-cooked meals now because of it!
  • Go to Thailand.  We definitely did not meet this goal but it’s okay… we’re holding it off for 2020, especially because this year was a tough year.
  • Lose weight. Nope – did NOT happen. 
  • Pay off a credit card.  I paid off two credit cards this year, I just have to work on the largest one now. But I definitely met this goal! *whew.
  • Begin trying for a kid in December 2019 — Yeah… this is definitely not happening anytime soon.  It was a rough year of marriage for us, career-wise, movements, and growth.  It would have been irresponsible to throw a kid into the mix of all of it. We’re also still learning a lot about our ability to live and grow together.
  • Read 50 books. I did not get to 50 but I got to 30. That’s approximately two books a month and excludes audiobooks.  I could try to bust a marathon in the next two weeks but do I really want to do that? Not sure, maybe I do. haha. 
  • meditate, read, pray, and upkeep my emotional wellbeing.  There were definitely days I forgot to – but for the most part, this has become an integral part of my life.  I can’t imagine my life without it now.

I actually obtained a 4.0 GPA this semester while working full time and it brought me a lot of joy. I’ve been challenging myself to be the best version of myself in all spheres of my life: herbalism, career/work, school, mentorship, as a leader, and as a life-partner.  Whether it’s uplifting people, helping others, standing up to bigotry, obtaining accountability, standing up for those without rights, or praying for others – I’ve wanted to see what I’m capable of when I tell myself every day to be the best version of me there is.  It’s worked miracles and has taken a lot of courage.  It is sometimes easier to flow with the current then to brush against it, but for movements and real change to happen, we must challenge ourselves and others.

I finally took on a medicinal fundraiser/workshop.  It was such a healing process.  It was intended to be a small group, with all proceeds going back to the non-profit.  With twelve people we raised $325.00 in one hour.  All of the funds raised, will go back to the wellness garden.  This garden grows fresh produce for cancer patients/families. Then it goes back to the staff who help grow the produce for the patients.  The funds cover costs for gardening tools, seeds, and worm ecosystems.

In the midst of my finals, I also decided to touch base with my local mentors.

I know I’ll be busy prepping to move next year so decided to meet them to just sit with them… Thank them for what they’ve done for me… how they’ve never stopped believing in me.  I am forever blessed to have such wonderful mentors from all walks of life: department chairs from tier 1 universities, founders of feminist movements, political leaders, civil rights activists, chief information officers, and executive directors.

Regardless of which path I chose… how many times I changed my mind… they were my number one support systems through it all.  They are the only ones I’ve shared my path with because they believe in my dreams as much as I believe in it.  It’s important to share your dreams with a select few.  I say this from personal experience:  there are more dream killers then there are believers.  Protect and guard your dreams, share it with a select few, and pursue it vigorously.



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All photos, writings, poems, and opinions are my own.

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