It has been such an insane week. I don’t even know how to put it into words. It has literally been raining for like five days. I love the rain but my dogs hate the rain, which essentially means I’ve been doing a lot of cleaning around the house.
A little bit about where my head space has been. Things are beginning to get a bit stressful again but I’m in such a better head space now that it doesn’t even phase me. It’s nice to be able to manage and cope with stress with zero anxiety or worries. Of course, many of you know that hasn’t always been the case for me. I’ve come such a long way and things just feel great. Even though the future is a bit hazy, I feel really good. It’s almost like….. this is where I’m meant to be in this place and time. I’m not sure if I’ve been able to say that at all the past four years.
I had a cold for most of this week. I felt groggy, gross, disgusting. But even then I allowed myself to rest and get better. Something I did not do before because I thought, I had to be on the, “go, go go” all the time. Insane right?
I made a few mistakes/blunders this week but we all do. I used to be so hard on myself, and I’d beat myself up over it, then my anxiety would grow and grow. Now I’m just like, “Hey I’m human. I make human mistakes.” Don’t we all?
I used to be my own cruelest critic. If you could hear some of the things I used to say to myself, you’d be amazed. When I used to make mistakes, I would call myself every name in the book, “stupid, worthless, idiotic, good-for-nothing.” Now when I make mistakes I say, “What can I do differently? How can I learn from this?” Once you start changing the messages in your head, the rest will follow.
It’s a healing journey and process. We can only do so much, right?
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