The last quarter of 2018.

So oddly, I fell off a bit with my posts after August. I was transitioning in my new contract job and then experienced an unexpected loss in the family.  In the midst of all this, I was also planning my Hmong and American wedding, and acting as the program director for a local non-profit.  There were so many moving parts, in my life, that I didn’t know how to articulate the chaotic emotions.  For all purposes of honesty, it was important for me to heal a bit after my Hmong wedding.  There were so many things that went wrong, I couldn’t see what could go right.  Does that make sense?


My handsome husband.
Seattle, Washington

It’s Sunday morning and I decided not to attend my brother’s birthday trip to Big Bear.  Three of my brothers are born in January, so it’s kind of a lot.  I’ve also been traveling so much that I haven’t had time to clean, do laundry, reorganize, or recuperate. My room is a hot mess. I asked my partner to reorganize it – a few months ago but it’s not working out too well in terms of organization.  So I think I’ll spend the day reorganizing, cleaning, and catching up with my new biology course.  We’re scheduled to go to Sacramento on Saturday – for a close friend’s wedding. So we still need to pack for that. I don’t want to fall two months behind in cleaning. That’s too much for me. As an introvert who thrives in organized clutter (ha, yes I just said that) – I do need to have organized clutter.  Right now, it’s just a mess.

On the plus side, I just cleaned the entire bathroom and am feeling really great so far.

Honeymoon
Seattle, WA

  On the not-so-plus side … I’ve been awake for four hours and have only completed one item of the ten that I need to complete.

I started a few of my resolutions this weekend. Whoo-hoo to resolutions.  I’ve completed 1 of my 50 books for 2019 and I’m on my second book, “Prince Charming Isn’t Coming.”  Steve and I scheduled our first mortgage consultation for January and we are meeting with a financial advisor to discuss how to invest and save with our existing portfolios.  Let’s just say we aren’t on track. 😛  I’m in a strange point with my life career-wise and really/truly have been these past four years.  I’ve been praying a lot for God’s guidance on my next steps.  I have a lot of opportunities and directions I can move in.  I think that in itself is such a blessing.  Right now I am refining where I want to go with my skill set and talents.  It’s something I am leaning heavily on God to guide me with.  I know that he will choose the right direction for me, nonetheless, and am excited for what is in store in the upcoming years.  It’s been a long road and I’m glad I waited to really search for what my heart desired, wanted, and needed.

Honeymoon
Seattle, WA

I found so much healing in 2018 that any anxiety, stress, depression, or hopelessness I dealt with from 2015-2017 truly feels like a distant speck in my past.  Once I let go of the opinions of others and put myself first, everything else just followed.  I dedicate and work hard in everything I do, and life has always repaid me for that.  I’m not sure why I stressed so much about things that truly didn’t matter. Trauma has a way of exacerbating the ugliest parts of us. It is so very important to heal those wounds so that we can move on with our lives in a healthy and upbeat way.  Especially because we need to love our own self, in order to radiate in other people’s lives.  Happy new year.

Need a prayer?  Leave a comment below and I will pray for you.

Love,

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All photos, writings, poems, and opinions are my own.

 

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