Writer’s block.

I don’t have very much on my mind, on the various things happening in my life, again.  I’ve hit a writer’s block.  So I thought I could share how I started blogging again.  Throughout all of undergraduate, I blogged about beauty but stopped because it didn’t feel authentic to me.

DCIM100GOPROG0079765.A year and a half ago – my partner told me his dream was to become a recognized angler.  I had just moved to Long Beach and he was star struck because he had just finished a fishing session.  During his fishing session, he ran into a well-known angler and was so nervous to speak to him.  He told me he could be on that level, if he knew how to share his experience, but felt that he didn’t have the marketing background and/or expertise to do it.  So I launched him. I spent countless hours learning fishing techniques, catching fish, taking photos on the water, editing videos, applying for sponsorships (this was easy for me since I have wrote many grants),  learning new software plans, setting up an official website, launching youtube, and instagram.  Within nine months we had a following of 700 on Instagram, an influencer sponsor, and over 45,000 views on Youtube.  We would go out to eat, at local restaurants, and people would come up to him and say, “You’re stangtravel, right?”  Once this started happening everywhere, I knew it was time to transfer the platform over to him.

I helped him achieve his dream, all the while, never pursuing mine.  I decided to turn this platform into my personal blog.  If you look at the first blogs on this website it has men’s fashion and fishing content, hahaha.  Over the past few months, I have been taking time to learn, craft, and build my expertise in organic holistic healing.  I did not want to blog about superficial things, like I had in the past, and spent quite some time developing my niche.  I finally made my platform public last month because I felt that I had spent an ample amount of time refining my most authentic self.  I know that sounds weird, right?  But I am a really private person and most people do not know my hobbies!  For those who know my hobbies, they know very little about my professional life!

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I had developed a passion for traveling, exploring, and holistic healing.  Only those closest to me knew I lived and breathed a certain lifestyle.  Those who knew me, in the past, probably saw me and thought, “Wow she’s fat now,” but they would have known nothing about my surgeries, physician appointments, or my lifestyle changes.  My lifestyle change meant I was no longer taking five different medications a day, just to control my asthma and allergies.  I only needed medications in the case of emergencies.  I was no longer getting surgeries every year and  I’ve been two years surgery and tumor free.

So that’s how I got started.  That’s what it took, for me, to start sharing my lifestyle and everyday struggles.  It took me bringing my partner’s dreams into realization, for me to say, “Why don’t I do that for myself if that’s what I do for others?”   I have been helping people succeed, find happiness, and achieve their dreams for years.  Yet, here I was wondering why that couldn’t be me!  Can you believe that?!  I’m definitely a giver and rarely ever do things for myself.  But I’m doing it now and it freaken feels GOOD!  I wanted to blog about real struggles people experience in their everyday life:  work, family, trauma, love, and healing.  I didn’t want to see smiles, filters, and photoshopped beauty in my blogs, because I see that everywhere on social media already.  I wanted my blog to be a place where people could read it and be like, “Oh my gosh. Finally. Someone who doesn’t sugar coat life.  Me too.”  I used to ashamed that I couldn’t be happy like everyone else on social media… and then I realized it was all a facade.  I did not want to be a part of that narrative – I wanted a narrative that depicted the ups and downs we experience in life.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  The mornings we wake up with a zit on our face, the moments we enjoy time with those we love most, the moments we experience grief, devastation, or loss.

That is me.  At it’s finest.

Love and light,

 

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All photos, writings, poems, and opinions are my own.

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