I started transitioning my food to organic products back in late 2015. For most of my life, I was a whopping size 1, fit, tan, and a spunky individual. You would never think I’m a healthier eater now, with my current weight, compared to what I weighed in 2013. It’s complicated and there are a lot of factors associated with my current weight but I assure you there have been many beneficial changes to my life. Why did I decide to transition to organic foods?
In 2013 a softball sized tumor was found in one of my ovaries. The tumor was removed within one month of its discovery. I continued with my lifestyle, exercising, eating, and then in 2014 three more tumors were found. This time, in the same ovary and my fallopian tube. The tumors were making their way to my uterus. My ovary and fallopian tube was removed. It was after this surgery- that I decided to transition my eating lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong … there were definitely difficulties with this transition. As a matter of fact I sucked the first seven months at regulating my eating habits because I was morbidly angry at everything related to my physical body.
I was pretty resentful the year and a half following my second surgery. I was angry that I underwent multiple traumatic surgeries and felt like I was being unfairly punished by the Universe. Notice the theme? I grew to hate the battle scars that now plastered my abdomen. For the most part, prior to my surgeries, I ate relatively healthy meals (minus the fact they were pesticide injected). I exercised regularly, never smoked, didn’t drink, and never let my body near drugs. I was furious. I let anger run my eating habits. My motto for the first six months was basically,
How could an avid exerciser who took such extreme precautions in life have tumors growing inside of me?! I had friends who binge drank every weekend doing perfectly fine! Why even bother trying to be healthy when people who don’t even care about their bodies are doing better than me? Eating healthy is a lie. It’s all a lie. I never drank, did drugs or smoked and I’m still suffering. *middle fingers up.
As a researcher, the answers were plain and simple. Genetically speaking, my people have very little exposure to medications and harmful chemicals. We also have different enzyme structures that fail to metabolize a lot of medications, let alone pesticides. There are multiple research studies that support my people’s genetic differences, from top tier universities: Stanford, Harvard, UCSF, the list goes on. Why did I think I could escape the wrath of pesticide infested, genetically modified, produce? I don’t know .. I was a blank consumer that didn’t want to admit that I was being poisoned.
Slowly, with the wonderful encouragement of partner, I changed my eating habits. I am definitely still breaking the bad habits I adapted, during my resentful “I hate the world” stage, but it’s been a work in progress. I have been eating mostly organic foods for almost two years now. It is hard to be a fully organic food consumer when I’m with my family because a lot of Asian grocery markets do not grow organic produce. However, all of the meals I cook at home are made with organic non-gmo produce and vegetables. I rarely consume dairy and only buy non-injected meats. What has that translated to? That has translated to two years free of tumors. It might be a coincidence, or chance, but why take the risks? Plus, with all of the evidence suggesting hormone injected, pesticide infested, and gmo foods has a positive relationship to cancer … why take the chance? Is it worth the extra ten dollars at every grocery store? To me, yeah. If I’m saving my body from cell mutations, that can be passed down to my future children, it’s worth it.
I still have years of self-love, I need to work on, and I still need to pick up the bad stress eating habits I developed (organic french fries, organic chips, juicy pasteur grown hamburgers, lol). But for now … this post is a little snippet into a dark place in my life and why I decided to start making changes towards organic consumption. It is one aspect of myself that I’ve rarely shared with anyone, one that I am choosing to share today. It has taken me years to share this story. Particularly because physical beauty and weight is such a sensitive topic for women… thank you for reading this.
Love and light,
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