I’ve been quiet for so long.

I finally wrote the “letter.”  The letter she has been asking me to write for three and a half weeks.  While I wrote this letter, my inner child wept, twenty years of hurt finally flushing its way out.  It is something I never spoke of, wrote of, or expressed.  A knawing ache that turned into self-hatred, self-destruction, depression, and rage.

I sent this letter to one trusted person, as advised, and found myself weeping in the shower after sending it.  Years of agony, hurt, and pain finally materializing its way into the much needed direction of healing.  I have been quiet for so long.  

I want everyone reading this, to know: you deserve a life filled with love and happiness. We can not choose the family or circumstances we were born into.  We can only focus on how we choose to live our life, the way we react to life, and the direction we choose to move towards as adults.  We can choose to minimize our suffering, by developing boundaries, and practicing compassion and kindness towards our Self.

First and foremost- I am my worst critic.  How can I be kind to others when I am ruthless with myself?  If you knew how hard I was on myself, you would be amazed.  So what am I doing?  I am practicing the art of kindness with myself. Sincerity, Patience, Acknowledgement, Respect, and Kindness (SPARK).

Your body is the physical record of your life story as you lived it until today…Remember, when you change your internal messages, you aren’t just talking to yourself. You are writing new pages in the book of your life.

-Deepak Chopra

I am choosing to change my internal messages.  Replacing the negativity with light, positive affirmations, and compassion.  I will do this by changing the messages of hurt to resilience.  I am trying to heal my mind, body, and soul.  The three are synced.  You can not heal the body but deprive the soul. So I am choosing to revive my mind and soul – knowing that my physical body will follow suit once my soul is fed.

Thank you for reading this blog with me and joining me on my ongoing journey towards fulfillment and happiness. I love all of you so much for reading this, you have no idea.


Love and light,


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