For me, forgiveness and compassion are always linked: how do we hold people accountable for wrongdoing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?-bell hooks
This week was filled with deep resentment, anxiety, exhaustion, stress, and resentment. As a person I try very deeply to practice compassion, kindness, forgiveness and accountability. However, I found myself in a deep predicament this weekend.
How can I hold individuals accountable who refuse to be held accountable?
I was born into a community that has been oppressed for centuries. With this oppression there is innate trauma and, with this trauma, there is the normalization of various forms of abuse passed across generations. I spent most of my thanksgiving break reflecting on healing but found very little room in my heart to forgive the wrongdoing of individuals whose hearts have grown cold and isolated.
While I believe in forgiveness – I also believe that if someone does not have the capacity to see they’re wrongdoings, they should not be a part of my life. Their inability to hold themselves accountable for the hurt and pain they inflict on others is ruthless, selfish and devious. I have my share of mistakes. We are, afterall, human beings but I at least can account for my wrong doings so that I can grow as a being.
I have no room in my heart to be continuously triggered by people who claim to love but only abuse the people they claim to love.
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Mount Whitney and Alabama Hills, CA