“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” Elisabeth K. Ross
I just tried to survive from 2014-2016.
During this time period my growth stopped, I shut out my supportive circles, and spent time alone wondering what my life became. On paper, I was a successful young woman who had encountered a life situation that would make me more “relatable” and moving for future applications. I was twenty three, a masters from the most competitive university in the United States, a hell of a resume, a humanitarian butterfly, and yet I was visiting my physician’s office every other week to monitor various tumors destroying my ovary and fallopian tube.
After going through a couple surgeries, and finding myself cleared of new tumors, I made it a personal mission of mine to allow people back into my life. It’s one of the reasons this blog started.
Growing requires taking risks, allowing vulnerability, and vulnerability means potentially being hurt in the process. It’s a trade off … but if we never allow room for this type of growth we become complacent in the way that we think and develop.
This year I allowed myself to become particularly vulnerable to a certain group, in order to to fuel their development and growth. I did this in a professional and personal capacity and grew to love this group’s passion, energy, and development. While the group benefited enormously, I discovered that I had been blindsided and taken advantaged of. This is a painful moment for me but it’s a really important one for me to learn from. I can not help others grow, unless I am vulnerable, and I can not grow unless I am vulnerable. My intuition is particularly spot on, almost all the time, and I let it slide because I wanted to believe that all people are good until proven otherwise. This is an ongoing lesson that if others do not have the emotional capacity or mindset to grow – you should only do so much before walking away. No strings attached.
When life trials come your way, you have to ask, “How can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? How will this build my resilience?” There is no purpose in holding grudges, allowing unhappy people to tear down you down, or sitting on hypothetical ways of how things could have played out differently. That is the beauty of life. Sometimes things go unanswered and that’s okay! You grow, encounter a setback, learn how to move forward, adapt, and then it repeats all over again.
Never stop growing. Yes, it hurts sometimes. It is not always pretty but you become so much stronger, wiser, and loving at the end of it.