If the soul is connected.

This week I decided to reactivate my Facebook after being (mostly) off of it the past nine months. I occasionally logged on periodically to show I existed but for the most part remained inactive.

Why am I active on Facebook again or ,better yet, why did I deactivate my Facebook to begin with?  Facebook became a place of pain for me. I needed to battle my own demons before I could log back on.  I went through two very traumatic surgeries and fell into a state of depression after my second surgery.  Whenever I logged back onto Facebook – I felt that I needed to live up to my old flawless (un-traumatized self).  That may sound strange but it’s not.  Prior to my recent experience – I was a picture perfect robot. Let me explain:

  1. Smiles only
  2. Pripped, propped, primed and groomed at all times.
  3. Always on top of my academic game.
  4. In shape

After my surgeries the only thing that I was able to do was smile … but even that changed a bit.  You could tell I lived through something awful – whereas my past smile felt more naive and sheltered. Like I grew up with a picket fence, wasn’t abused, cheated on, torn/ripped apart, or demoralized.

But I’m back. I’m ready for the challenge, the pain, the heartbreak, the beating ache of the digital realm.  No one will stop me.

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